


A Good Night For Charles

by Vixen13



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: April Fools' Day, Caning, Cheating, Come Shot, Cream Pie, Deep throat, Double Anal Penetration, Double Penetration, Double Penetration in One Hole, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Explicit Sexual Content, Filthy Animals - Freeform, Fluff, Foursome, Kinda, Kinky, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Punishment, Snowballing, Threesome, Vulcan Mind Melds, Wade gets a little weird with things tbh, Watersports, gagging, levitation sex, rare pairs, rip Charles' ass, sex with tacos, spiderweb sex, there's a pinata involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-12 15:59:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10494423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen13/pseuds/Vixen13
Summary: All Charles ever wanted was to have sex with someone whose mind he could not read. When Erik had found his helmet, it had been a blessing. But now Erik was gone and Charles was crippled and the voices were too loud.Good thing Deadpool likes to help out whenever he can.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly porn. Long live rare pairs, I suppose. I threw in Gambit because Gambit is hot, okay? Don't judge me.

"I've seen inside Spider-man's mind. I know you two are together."

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him!" Deadpool boasted as he flopped down onto Charles' lap. The floating wheelchair wobbled a little as it adjusted to the weight of both men. "Besides, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. When was the last time you got boned, huh?"

"This is a school full of minors. I do not have the opportunity."

"Exactly! You're everybody's noble teacher! But I ain't your student and I'm seriously jonesing for some sex with a bit of effort on my end, ya know? Spidey strength means I don't have to work at it and that's fine most of the time, but I have needs, ya know?"

"The downside of not being able to read your mind is not knowing if you are joking or not."

"I'm dead serious Charlsie-warlsie!"

"I'm quite sure I'm twice your age."

"Mmm, I can be your bear cub then!"

"I have no idea what that means," Charles deadpanned. He did in fact know what that meant, but he refused to acknowledge that fact to the likes of Deadpool.

"Listen, all you gotta know is that I'm gonna make you cum so many times, you won't be reading anybody's mind for weeks!"

"I'm quite certain that is not how my power works."

"You gotta _believe_!" Deadpool crowed as he hopped up and started pulling all manner of toys and lube from his pouches. "Listen, I'm up for anything, okay? Pretty much into it all. So don't worry about any hard limits. You got any I need to worry about? Oh! My safe word is 'skadoodlepoodle' because it's the only word I could think of that I don't normally say during sex."

"That's disconcerting."

"What's disconcerting is that your dick is still in your pants! Whip that bitch out! C'mon!"

 

 

And that's it you filthy animals. Have you read those tags?! I am not writing this!!! The problem is my brain honestly wanted to figure out how to involve a pinata and I was like "No! Bad Vixen! Stop writing this crazy prank!" but I kept writing their dialogue at the beginning because it was hilarious. XD I need to chill. Anywho. Beetle was the one that originally suggested Deadpool/Professor X as the April Fool's pairing and I just kinda went with it from there. Tags are to be blamed entirely on myself. I hope you enjoyed this ridiculous joke I had the urge to do. Suggest weird pairings and kinks in the comments and I'll try to write a quick drabble about them and post it as a new chapter to REALLY confuse those who haven't opened this fic yet. XD

#goodpranksnotmeanpranks

 

 April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day!

 

[Sexy](http://www.blastr.com/sites/blastr/files/Gambit.jpg)

 

April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day! [a](https://img.memesuper.com/909861ac3b4aa4bac544fae4770a70c2_hey-guy-ahhhh-yeahhh-meme-ahhhh_305-227.png) April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day!

 

[A Classic](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)

 

April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day!

 

Okay, but, seriously, have you seen[ this video](https://youtu.be/6vE5ewvxdfo)? It's so weird. I really do love that song, tho. Don't judge me.

 

April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day!

 

Like, I seriously have this mental image of Charles being strung up by Spidey's web in this weird almost sex swing and Wade hitting him with a stick and asking where the candy is and Peter and Remy just going to town on mouth and ass until Wade gets bored and DP's Charles' ass. It's a disturbing [image](https://img.memesuper.com/491464d1bb23c613ceabf58a1aacd423_pin-by-kari-cooper-mckee-on-no-ew-meme-face_640-538.jpeg) and I think I pranked myself while writing this, but if you read this, it's in your head now too. I'm not sorry. (I kinda am. I'm just not good at being a mean person. But I gotta share disturbing things with others. Distributing the pain helps. lulz)

 

! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! April Fool's!!!!! Have a good day!

 

I promise I love you guys! hehehe

Thanks for putting up with me all this time and reading my stuff, no matter how strange. ;-p

**Author's Note:**

> If you are interested in Spideypool, Yuri on Ice, and random yaoi pictures, hit up my tumblr! :-D  
> http://thatvixenchick.tumblr.com/
> 
> So by popular request, my cats have their own tumblr now. https://vixen13scats.tumblr.com/


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